A Man with Soul: Sid Hutter

These words of wisdom are offered by Sid Hutter, a frequent contributor to The Soulmate Experience on Facebook whose poetry and insights inspire and bless countless souls.

There are an infinite number of souls that share this world. Why then should we limit our soul to experience only one? Our souls, our spirits are not bound to the earth as are our bodies and they sing together, and to each other, in a soul full choral arrangement conducted by a Divine hand. Our souls, our spirits have only the limitations we give them. 

When one soul meets another soul, each one then meets the souls of the others that were experienced before them. This is how our souls are "nourished" and we begin to become soul full.

One should never place one's soul in "solitary confinement" ... myriad souls = myriad possibilities

It is beyond my belief and evolved into a certainty: We all have many soulmates in this vast universe. Our Souls are not bound to where we stand as our bodies are, but instead can reach and travel beyond the boundaries of the physical to embrace the myriad souls that share the same path as ours even if be for only a moment of our life.

"Life will bring you whatever circumstances are necessary for the evolution of your consciousness." (Eckhart Tolle) If one feels a mysterious experience or circumstance in their life between one's mind, body, heart and soul, perhaps it is our consciousness evolving. It happens whether we feel it or not, but it's more enjoyable when we recognize the "song" and dance to it.

‎Were it not for love,
My Soul would never have heard a song of loneliness,
My heart would never have been broken.
Were it not for love,
My soul would never have heard a song of passion,
My heart would never have been mended.
Were it not for love,
My soul would never have heard a song of despair,
My heart would never have tasted bitterness.
Were it not for love,
My soul would never have heard a song of forgiveness,
My heart would never have known the sweet taste of joy.
Were it not for love,
I would not wish nor yearn for love again.

 
Crying is a necessary process for the human condition to evolve, whether it be tears of sorrow or joy. To withhold one's tears is like building a dam in one's river of emotions... the dam does not have to "break down" or overflow to release the tears, but it will if one contains them for too long… Instead let us open the gates of tears to feel the peace of joy or grief being released.

‎The mountain looks different to the one who views it from the valley compared to view of the one that climbs it... ♥

So many of us, so many times, take our day to day lives for granted, and some days it may be difficult to embrace the gift that is life. When I am sad, grumpy or lonely, or find myself taking my moments for granted, if I will take the time to examine the blessings that exist in my life, I most often discover that "Gratitude defeats the magnitude of a negative attitude." And while I have my moments when I may resist applying the healing power of gratitude, it always "heals" if I apply it to the "wound."

When the soul speaks, hearts listen.

Through the cracks in our Soul's foundation, flowers of friendship have grown and bloomed here; each a different blossom, cultivated as we wish, to become a garden of Soul Friends. Let it grow.

A Man with Soul: Matthew Watson

These words of wisdom are from Matthew Watson, a frequent contributor to The Soulmate Experience on Facebook. Thank you, Matthew, for living and loving full out!

Every problem is an opportunity to try a new solution and to open our minds. The very act of thinking brings those things into being, so if all I think of are the problems, then problems and people that share that view come into my life. If, on the other hand, I think of all the wonderful gifts that are being given to me, I find myself surrounded by people that have answers and can help me find a new solution.

The universe has wonderful things for all of us, but as long as we hold on to things that don't work anymore we are unable to receive the gift. Some of the barriers that I had to let go of are fear, black and white thinking, feeling less than, and being a victim. The walls that I had built to protect myself ended up being a prison and I didn't like my cell mate at all (myself). Life is so much better outside of that self-built jail!

If I pick up a snake on monday and it bites me—well, all snakes don't bite, I just didn't know that this one does. But if I pick it up Tuesday and it bites me and I pick it up Wednesday and it bites me and Thursday and it bites me… at some point it is no longer the snake's fault: by now I know that every time I pick it up it will bite me. The solution? Stop picking it up!

If you don't forgive people that have hurt you then you live in the pain. Forgive, look for the lesson, and move on with a glad heart!!!

So many of us were wounded by early experiences, perhaps things our parents said or teachers and classmates. It is so easy to carry those hurts into adulthood and allow them to poison our relationships. Until I went back and looked at those things with an adult's eyes and an adult's thoughts I reacted to others with a child's fears and a child's coping skills. The journey from child to adult is not measured in years but rather in emotional growth. Today I am able to attract friends into my life that reaffirm the idea that I am a good person and I can accept myself for who I am.

When my wife left me because of my addiction it forced me to look at where my life was going, with the help of a 12 step group I now have 17 years clean.... It also allowed her and I to be friends. Thank goodness that she had the courage to leave me and the compassion to love herself, to embrace the lesson and learn from the pain.

After a couple of years of working on me I was able to make public amends to each of my former wives for the part I had played in the breakup of my marriages. My becoming friends with my ex's cleared away much of the emotional wreckage that had me blocked and I was able to let go of the pain. As a big bonus I have a wonderful relationship with my three children today…

I can't agree with the idea that pain and pleasure are opposites. Look at the smile of a new mother moments after giving birth, feel the pain of turning down a big slice of cheesecake so I might lose a pound or two… Pain is often part of the pleasure in life, I can't have one without the other—so when I try to avoid the pain I must often forgo the pleasure. We don't have to suffer though; as the Buddha taught, suffering is holding on to that which has already changed. In the past I have often held onto things that had stopped working for me and then suffered trying to hold onto something that was gone. If I find myself suffering today, I remind myself that this is a choice and I can change how I chose to feel. Dr Seuss said it best: "Don't cry because it's over, be happy that it was!"

I haven't giving up working on me and I haven't given up the dream of finding the soulmate meant for me!

A Man with Soul: Murray Douglas

These loving words are from Murray Douglas, a frequent contributor to The Soulmate Experience on Facebook. Murray simple resides in a state of love, and everyone who has the good fortune to come into the sphere of his golden light feels continually bathed in the love he radiates.

It has always been a belief of mine that the true riches of life are one's friends.

In the Dance of Life, we consciously, interchangeably assume the roles of Teacher and Student. It is this that leads to continual personal development, growth, and refinement for all. The Dance of Life is Divine ... lovely ... refreshing ... invigorating ... infectiously contagious. I am ecstatic by those who choose to join me in the Dance of Life!

Always believe … be open ... be receptive! Soul mates often present themselves in a variety of ways, often times when you least expect it. If you believe and have an open, loving, receptive heart, you and your soul mate will connect. Go forth with open heart—you just might be surprised with what that attracts!

I am loving life and living the life I love.

What I love about not being perfect is the opportunity to learn and grow. One learns from one's mistakes—but if one is perfect, there are no mistakes from which to learn.

Something magical happens every moment.

I am ... you are ... we all are composites of all those with whom we have come in contact, coupled with all the experiences we have had. We all have the basis for who we Divinely are in the form of our core … all with whom we are in contact as well as all experiences we've had serve to create our lovely and tantalizing uniqueness. Our uniqueness will forever evolve with the people with whom we come in contact and the experiences we have moment after moment after moment.

Much gratitude to you all ... You do realize that I am simply reflecting back to you that which is in each of you, my sweet and cherished friends!

A Man with Soul: Oscar Enrique Perez

These inspiring words are from Oscar Enrique Perez, a frequent contributor to The Soulmate Experience on Facebook. Oscar's commitment to love, transparency, compassion, and "soul nakedness" has been a guiding ray of light and a source of inspiration to many!

Oscar on Love
We are surrounded by love; we are love. Being in love is the realization that what we have been looking for outside of ourselves, we have within. It is a source we tap into whenever we choose.

Anytime you are feeling down, or even when you are feeling great, know this: Who You Are lights up the world around you in a way no one else can. When you allow your unique light to shine, the world around you is coloured in a way no one else can.

Love is the most beautiful feeling I have my experienced in my life. When it is unlimited, free flowing and mutual, it's the closest I have experienced to Heaven on Earth. Just because something ended, it doesn't have to take away the beautiful experiences lived. Take those positives and strive to experience more of them, and take the negatives and learn from them. Giving up on Love is like giving up on Life, and I'm determined to live/love forever!

To me there is not a right amount of vulnerability to show. If we have to "ration" our vulnerability, then we are acting based on fear, and that is not love. Love has no restrictions. True love flows like water: it is strong, it molds, and will move around the rocks that stand in its way, it knows no limits.

I am not alone in this process of reclaiming ourselves back to the state we were all born in: Love. This is is what will heal the planet once and for all: realizing what our true essence is and that the rest are just walls we have put around us to prevent that love to flow. Let's tear down the walls and build bridges. How do we do that? Smile at people, make a random stranger smile (we never know, that smile may make someone's day); listen, really listen when people talk to us; replace judgement with compassion; and remember to be 'responsible' with our freedom: we are free to do what we want, but so are the rest of us, so let's make sure that our actions do not curtail other people's freedom. I know, easier said than done, but maybe we will all achieve this in our lifetime.

I am a becoming a fierce advocate of soul nakedness. If all we are is love, why do we hide parts of it, when love knows no boundaries? Soul Nakedness is the Truth of us, and Truth shall set us free.

The minute you accept and love your imperfections, you become perfect.

I still remember junior high in the U.S. and high school in Venezuela, how little I thought of myself. I wonder what is stopping us from teaching kids, at an early age, about inner Love. Is it because it is something that a kid would not comprehend? Or is it a natural part of growing up, to go from feeling as though loves comes from outside sources (ideally from the parents) to learning that the source is within?

Everyone that comes into our life is a messenger, teacher of some sorts, just as we are teachers for them. There is always a message, a lesson to be learned. It is up to each of us to listen to the message or not. In my life it has been very clear that I am who I am because of everyone that has come into my life, even those who have hurt me.

I read somewhere that mistakes, setbacks, heartbreaks, etc, are forms of energy that if channeled properly lead to growth. If we go with it, and don't resist it, our creativity can be awakened in a magical way. As an amateur musician, some of my best playing and most beautiful melodies have come after I have been heartbroken.

Oscar on His Future Soulmate
I am 43 years old and have not been in many relationships, but the one thing I have noticed is that every relationship has taught me valuable lessons, one of which is that the source of love I look for is found within me. Through each relationship, I have gained the wisdom that gets me prepared for the next one. The more I tap into my own source of love, the stronger the soul connections I've experienced.

I am beginning to to stop feeling guilty for thinking I am awesome. I feel like I am reclaiming my sense of worth and acknowledging to myself the gift I have to offer... But I long to share my gift with an awesome soulmate so that we can take our individual awesomeness and turn it into a collective magnificence!

My soulmate is a woman with whom I can share my growth, breakdowns and breakthroughs; she is a support for me as I am for her, she challenges me, holds me accountable, and calls me on my bull when I stop being who I am, as I would do with her. It would definitely be someone who works on herself—she "works in" with the same passion and intensity she "works out." She is perfect for me, because her imperfections are part of what makes her The One for me, the same way she find some of my flaws endearing.

Oscar on the Soulmate Experience
I am loving this Soulmate Experience. You are all in distant locations to me, but boy, I do feel the loving energy. Love definitely knows no boundaries.

Playing Leapfrog

In our ongoing pursuit to live a happy, fulfilling life, we are all evolving in many directions at once. We may be actively developing ourselves in areas such as our career, our health, or our self-worth. We might be improving our relationship to money, food, aging, exercise, or sex. At any point in time, each of us will be more evolved in some areas than in others.

In a soulmate relationship, partners are uniquely qualified to guide and support each other in this natural process of self-development. Better than anyone else, your partner can see your untapped potential. They can “hold a positive belief about you," relationship guru Michael Naumer used to say, "until the evidence shows up.” They can see opportunities for you to grow and expand. They can also detect where insecurity, doubt, or other fears may be holding you back. Your partner doesn’t even need to be more evolved than you in a particular area in order to offer you invaluable support and guidance.

In a very real sense, a soulmate is your custom-made personal coach, spiritual teacher, and cheerleader, aware of your potential, as well as your limitations, in every aspect of your life. As your personal coach, they keep you on track with your desires and aspirations. As your spiritual teacher, they guide you in the direction of your very best self. As your cheerleader, they offer regular encouragement, motivation, and inspiration.

Leapfrog is the process through which soulmates assist one another in taking the next leap toward their full potential. Just as players in the children’s game support one another in moving forward, soulmates inspire each other to recognize and unlock their potential in every area of their lives.

Excerpted from Chapter 10: Playing Leapfrog in the new book The Soulmate Experience: A Practical Guide to Creating Extraordinary Relationships. 

Must Soulmates Share the Same Values?

We were asked whether soulmates necessarily share all the same values. In a word, we believe the answer is no.

We are, of course, naturally drawn to people whose overall value system is similar to our own. If I believe that children will develop into their best selves if they are given a safe but wide-open space to explore in, it’s unlikely I’ll be drawn to someone who believes that the most important way to help children develop into successful adults is to shape them with well-defined guidelines and a firm hand. And vice versa!

These different approaches are simply two different systems of values, or beliefs, about how best to raise children. You will likely feel yourself aligned more with one than the other, based on your own values. In the most basic sense, what we call “values” are really just collections of ideas in which we’ve chosen to invest our belief. In other words, our values are collections of ideas that we believe are important. Once we understand that our beliefs—and thus our values—are choices we make (consciously or unconsciously), things become a little easier.

We each have our own life experiences that contribute greatly to our personal value systems. For example, although my partner and I may agree on the surface about what “respect” means—our definitions may sound quite similar—out in the world, all of our life experiences, our current situations, and our other desires and beliefs come into play and can make our day-to-day expressions of respect look quite different in many ways.

We get into trouble when we try to make someone else’s beliefs conform to our own. That’s because it’s practically impossible to force someone else to change their beliefs. And even if we do manage to get them to modify their behavior to line up better with our own beliefs, we’re going to have to deal with something that can be even tougher on a relationship than conflicting values: resentment.

For instance, suppose I hold the belief that my partner should show respect for me by not looking at other women when we’re out to dinner. When we go out, if he’s trying to abide by my wishes, he will try not to notice attractive females. He’ll still notice them; he’ll just try hard to pretend he doesn’t. This may make me feel more comfortable in the short term, but it may well introduce some level of resentment into our relationship that can be difficult and even devastating in the long run.

Now suppose that I am practicing being more flexible with my belief system, and that my partner and I are able to create a safe space to talk about such things. He might get me to understand that he loves me just as much when he’s looking at me as when he’s noticing the attractive woman who just walked by. In fact, he might feel even more love for me if we come to an understanding that I’d like to get to a place where he’s comfortable being human around me, something he’s never experienced with a significant other before! (Of course, to change my belief about this, I’ll have to look deeply into why I have that belief in the first place, and perhaps find ways to raise my own sense of self-worth—which can only have positive benefits for me!)

Now, is it always MY responsibility to adjust my belief systems, or values, rather than my partner’s responsibility? Well, no. But it’s the only real choice I have—besides either remaining frustrated with the way things are or leaving the relationship altogether.

We can’t change our partner, though we can be a catalyst for change through demonstration. If my partner sees that I’m able to change my belief about something to create a more harmonious experience for myself, he just might be willing to try it himself.

The more receptive we are to working with whatever shows up, and the more flexible we are with our beliefs, the greater the possibility there will be to connect on a soul level.

Opening to the Soulmate Experience

If you’ve read our previous posts, you’ve probably gathered that we believe the soulmate experience is available to everyone—and that we aren’t limited to experiencing it with just one other (nearly-impossible-to-find!) person on the planet.

Think back to the times you’ve felt like you were connecting with someone on a deeper level—with your lovers, your friends, your children, or even your parents. You may have even experienced it with a stranger—when you caught each other’s gaze and had a strong sense of connection. Try to call up and re-experience the feeling you had at those times.

To bring more of the soul-connection quality into your life, focus on becoming more aware of when you’re feeling this way. When you’re engaged with other people, tune into this feeling—to whatever extent you can sense it. It can be especially easy to access when you’re looking into another person’s eyes with a state of openness and nonjudgement. It’s especially enlightening to try this with total strangers and feel how true the proverb “the eyes are the windows to the soul” actually is.

Imagine what your life would be like if you could experience this quality of connection, to some degree, with almost everyone you meet.

How Can You Tell If Someone Is a Soulmate?

Stella asks, “How can you tell if someone is a soulmate?” What’s wonderful about this question is that it’s infinitely more expansive than, “How can I tell if someone is MY soulmate?” It opens the door for so many possibilities. By searching for “a” soulmate rather than “your” (one and only) soulmate, finding what you desire becomes a much more likely proposition!

What Stella is really asking is, “How can you tell if someone has soulmate potential?” To answer that, let’s take a look at the soulmate experience.

Soulmates come together to explore, appreciate, and grow from every experience that shows up. They use everything as a vehicle for self-discovery and for enhancing their connection. Soulmates hold an intention to keep the magic in their relationship alive and do their best to encourage their relationship to flourish.

So, someone who has soulmate potential is someone who desires a deeply connected experience with another human being. Even more importantly, it’s someone who is committed to doing whatever it takes to truly open themselves up to the soulmate experience—which means having the willingness to see themselves clearly and to share themselves fully.

You can tell someone is a soulmate when you recognize these qualities in them. And if you have these qualities yourself, the soulmate experience becomes available to you.

What Does It Mean to “Be the One”?

Simply put, being the one is an approach to life and to relationships.

First, being the one is turning to yourself first so that you aren’t looking for someone to “complete” you, but to enhance you. It’s being consciously engaged in the process of living. It’s being activity involved in your own self-development: being ever more self-aware, self-expansive, and self-exploratory. It’s approaching other people and the world with receptivity.

Being the one is a willingness to be vulnerable, to share yourself, and to connect with others on intimate levels. Being the one is turning a tendency to say no into a tendency to say yes. It’s having a knack for seeing a higher possibility in every situation and knowing how to turn anything that happens into a vehicle for growth and self-discovery.

Being the one doesn’t mean you need to have super-high self-esteem, have resolved all of your issues, or be the perfect mate. Being the one is a process.

The soulmate experience is available to everyone. The more you cultivate the attitudes of a soulmate—the more you are the one—the more of that experience you will invite into your life. More than that: you’ll be able to recognize the potential for having highly connected soulmate-type experiences in others.

Move yourself to a higher level of consciousness, and that’s what you’ll attract.

Cultivating the Soulmate Experience

Millions of people are scouring dating and social-networking sites with the hopes of meeting their true love: the one person on the planet with whom they will feel profoundly connected and completely fulfilled. They are, to put it simply, looking for The One.

Though many of us will likely feel this level of connection most deeply with one person—or perhaps, over our lifetimes, two or three—we all have the capacity to feel it to some degree with everyone in our lives. You’ve likely felt a soul connection to varying degrees with many people—such as your parents, your children, your close friends, or your lovers. You may have even experienced it with people you’ve just met—a profound sense that you were meant to know each other or are somehow connected on a deeper level.

If you’re looking for the relationship of a lifetime, intentionally cultivating the attitudes of a soulmate is the best way to invite the soulmate experience into your life. More than that: when you are being The One, rather than trying to find The One, you’ll naturally begin to recognize the soulmate potential in others.

When the soulmate potential emanates from you—all you have to do is turn around.