Wednesday, January 20, 2010

What Does It Mean to “Be the One”?

Simply put, being the one is an approach to life and to relationships.

First, being the one is turning to yourself first so that you aren’t looking for someone to “complete” you, but to enhance you. It’s being consciously engaged in the process of living. It’s being activity involved in your own self-development: being ever more self-aware, self-expansive, and self-exploratory. It’s approaching other people and the world with receptivity.

Being the one is a willingness to be vulnerable, to share yourself, and to connect with others on intimate levels. Being the one is turning a tendency to say no into a tendency to say yes. It’s having a knack for seeing a higher possibility in every situation and knowing how to turn anything that happens into a vehicle for growth and self-discovery.

Being the one doesn’t mean you need to have super-high self-esteem, have resolved all of your issues, or be the perfect mate. Being the one is a process.

The soulmate experience is available to everyone. The more you cultivate the attitudes of a soulmate—the more you are the one—the more of that experience you will invite into your life. More than that: you’ll be able to recognize the potential for having highly connected soulmate-type experiences in others.

Move yourself to a higher level of consciousness, and that’s what you’ll attract.


  1. Great post which reflects my own attitude about relationships being "an inside job." We need to get the message out there as there is so much misleading and unhelpful 'advice' Thank you!


  2. Love the term "an inside job"! And you're right, we do need to get the message out-as so much of what's out there is focused on taking an "external" approach to improving our relationships. —Mali and Joe

  3. Thank you for this "truth" full post. As an astrologer, I am aware that the number one reason people seek someone in my line of work is to know when their soulmate is going to show up. The more we support messages like yours, the more love there will be to go around. As Susanne said in her comment, "Love is an inside job!"

    Powerful Post!
    Cathi Curen

  4. Thanks, Cathi. Your firsthand statistic is fascinating. And it’s heartening to know that you support the idea that we’ve got to turn to ourselves first. We’ll bet that your clients have a higher-than-average success rate of finding (creating) the relationships they're looking for!

  5. How can you tell if someone is a soulmate?

  6. I love this post. Especially the last part "Move yourself to a higher level of consciousness, and that’s what you’ll attract."

  7. I liked this I too believe "Intimacy is to dare to be your own self with the one whom you love"

  8. Bhagyashri, great quote. And it's a continual exploration, as we can always be more intimate, because we change, situations and challenges arise, and everything helps to make "always new" possible.