Leslie on Living Life Full Out

This is a guest post (and painting!) by Leslie Gibford Escoto, a frequent contributor to The Soulmate Experience on Facebook who inspires others with her transparency and vulnerability as she shares the insights and challenges she encounters along her own path of awakening. 

On Being Open to Others
Age is a factor in how we feel about ourselves, about each other and about how we fit in today's American culture. There are times when I look in the mirror and see someone I don't know any more... I think to myself, "Who the hell are you?" It's like I don't even recognize myself because I'm the same on the inside as I was when I was a child but my face, my body are falling apart and I have lost control. It's all cultural. Our culture does not value age, in fact, we have a tendency to discard anything of age. We get new cars every couple of years, new homes every five years, and even new noses, faces, breasts, tushes... we throw away people too. Recently my dad had to spend time in a skilled nursing facility and it is heartbreaking to see the elderly people there who are just there, with no one to care. We have gone from a culture of respecting our elders and living as extended families to one of putting our elderly in facilities so that we don't have to be bothered with them. When we truly think about it, yes we were much more together on the outside when we were twenty but just think how clueless most of us were then... Now that we are older, I'm 58, we are wiser, smarter, less judgmental, more accepting, more peaceful, more forgiving. If I had to choose between spending my life with a stunning 20 year old or a wise, caring, kind, and loving 60 year old with a few extra pounds, gray hair and wrinkles, it would be a no brainer. So why don't we all here on SME and FB make a pact to show the world that people of any age, race, ethnicity, size, intellect, religion, gender are valuable, wonderful people and we should respect and show love to each and every one.

Each time we open our hearts and share of ourselves we not only find out important things about ourselves but we gain a bit more understanding of the varied perspectives of human beings. We learn that one does not have to think like us, feel like us, dream like us in order to be worthy and have individual value in our life. I am learning to view each encounter, be it friendship, romantic or intimate as something precious to be cherished, respected and held dear regardless of the outcome. I can learn from every single person I meet as long as I have an open mind and heart.

On Living Life Full Out
Walk in the rain without an umbrella, jump into the puddles without galoshes, bask in the sun without sunglasses, wander through the soft grass without shoes, lay in the sand without a towel, and experience all life has to offer without a life vest or parachute. Only then can one truly say they have seen, felt, touched, smelled, and dreamed all the wonders of this life.

Everything, every stimuli, every encounter, every experience, every feeling, thought, emotion are keys to a deeper understanding and if we take the time to actually think about them, we may just get to where we want to go.

What my life and the people I have encountered in it have shown me is that in every period of joy, every tribulation, every rough spot in the road there is a lesson to be learned and the lesson usually comes with a concrete or subtle choice... choosing wisely can only be accomplished if you live with eyes, mind, and heart wide open.
 

A Man with Soul: Murray Douglas

These loving words are from Murray Douglas, a frequent contributor to The Soulmate Experience on Facebook. Murray simple resides in a state of love, and everyone who has the good fortune to come into the sphere of his golden light feels continually bathed in the love he radiates.

It has always been a belief of mine that the true riches of life are one's friends.

In the Dance of Life, we consciously, interchangeably assume the roles of Teacher and Student. It is this that leads to continual personal development, growth, and refinement for all. The Dance of Life is Divine ... lovely ... refreshing ... invigorating ... infectiously contagious. I am ecstatic by those who choose to join me in the Dance of Life!

Always believe … be open ... be receptive! Soul mates often present themselves in a variety of ways, often times when you least expect it. If you believe and have an open, loving, receptive heart, you and your soul mate will connect. Go forth with open heart—you just might be surprised with what that attracts!

I am loving life and living the life I love.

What I love about not being perfect is the opportunity to learn and grow. One learns from one's mistakes—but if one is perfect, there are no mistakes from which to learn.

Something magical happens every moment.

I am ... you are ... we all are composites of all those with whom we have come in contact, coupled with all the experiences we have had. We all have the basis for who we Divinely are in the form of our core … all with whom we are in contact as well as all experiences we've had serve to create our lovely and tantalizing uniqueness. Our uniqueness will forever evolve with the people with whom we come in contact and the experiences we have moment after moment after moment.

Much gratitude to you all ... You do realize that I am simply reflecting back to you that which is in each of you, my sweet and cherished friends!

A Man with Soul: Oscar Enrique Perez

These inspiring words are from Oscar Enrique Perez, a frequent contributor to The Soulmate Experience on Facebook. Oscar's commitment to love, transparency, compassion, and "soul nakedness" has been a guiding ray of light and a source of inspiration to many!

Oscar on Love
We are surrounded by love; we are love. Being in love is the realization that what we have been looking for outside of ourselves, we have within. It is a source we tap into whenever we choose.

Anytime you are feeling down, or even when you are feeling great, know this: Who You Are lights up the world around you in a way no one else can. When you allow your unique light to shine, the world around you is coloured in a way no one else can.

Love is the most beautiful feeling I have my experienced in my life. When it is unlimited, free flowing and mutual, it's the closest I have experienced to Heaven on Earth. Just because something ended, it doesn't have to take away the beautiful experiences lived. Take those positives and strive to experience more of them, and take the negatives and learn from them. Giving up on Love is like giving up on Life, and I'm determined to live/love forever!

To me there is not a right amount of vulnerability to show. If we have to "ration" our vulnerability, then we are acting based on fear, and that is not love. Love has no restrictions. True love flows like water: it is strong, it molds, and will move around the rocks that stand in its way, it knows no limits.

I am not alone in this process of reclaiming ourselves back to the state we were all born in: Love. This is is what will heal the planet once and for all: realizing what our true essence is and that the rest are just walls we have put around us to prevent that love to flow. Let's tear down the walls and build bridges. How do we do that? Smile at people, make a random stranger smile (we never know, that smile may make someone's day); listen, really listen when people talk to us; replace judgement with compassion; and remember to be 'responsible' with our freedom: we are free to do what we want, but so are the rest of us, so let's make sure that our actions do not curtail other people's freedom. I know, easier said than done, but maybe we will all achieve this in our lifetime.

I am a becoming a fierce advocate of soul nakedness. If all we are is love, why do we hide parts of it, when love knows no boundaries? Soul Nakedness is the Truth of us, and Truth shall set us free.

The minute you accept and love your imperfections, you become perfect.

I still remember junior high in the U.S. and high school in Venezuela, how little I thought of myself. I wonder what is stopping us from teaching kids, at an early age, about inner Love. Is it because it is something that a kid would not comprehend? Or is it a natural part of growing up, to go from feeling as though loves comes from outside sources (ideally from the parents) to learning that the source is within?

Everyone that comes into our life is a messenger, teacher of some sorts, just as we are teachers for them. There is always a message, a lesson to be learned. It is up to each of us to listen to the message or not. In my life it has been very clear that I am who I am because of everyone that has come into my life, even those who have hurt me.

I read somewhere that mistakes, setbacks, heartbreaks, etc, are forms of energy that if channeled properly lead to growth. If we go with it, and don't resist it, our creativity can be awakened in a magical way. As an amateur musician, some of my best playing and most beautiful melodies have come after I have been heartbroken.

Oscar on His Future Soulmate
I am 43 years old and have not been in many relationships, but the one thing I have noticed is that every relationship has taught me valuable lessons, one of which is that the source of love I look for is found within me. Through each relationship, I have gained the wisdom that gets me prepared for the next one. The more I tap into my own source of love, the stronger the soul connections I've experienced.

I am beginning to to stop feeling guilty for thinking I am awesome. I feel like I am reclaiming my sense of worth and acknowledging to myself the gift I have to offer... But I long to share my gift with an awesome soulmate so that we can take our individual awesomeness and turn it into a collective magnificence!

My soulmate is a woman with whom I can share my growth, breakdowns and breakthroughs; she is a support for me as I am for her, she challenges me, holds me accountable, and calls me on my bull when I stop being who I am, as I would do with her. It would definitely be someone who works on herself—she "works in" with the same passion and intensity she "works out." She is perfect for me, because her imperfections are part of what makes her The One for me, the same way she find some of my flaws endearing.

Oscar on the Soulmate Experience
I am loving this Soulmate Experience. You are all in distant locations to me, but boy, I do feel the loving energy. Love definitely knows no boundaries.

One Woman's Journey to More Fully Love Her Own Body

If you could use some inspiration to more fully love and accept your own body, you’ll enjoy this guest post from Lisa Vincent, a frequent contributor to The Soulmate Experience on Facebook. Lisa, we are deeply moved by your willingness to share your story, to be "spiritually naked" in the world so that we all may learn through you!

Perfect timing. I had spent a long day working at my computer and was totally exhausted. I wanted to drop immediately into bed. I was in the bathroom getting ready for the evening when I looked over and saw the bathtub. It called to me. I am currently staying at a friend’s place, and my home for the past two years only had a shower. I couldn’t think of anything I wanted to do more this beautiful Friday night, in the exciting city of San Francisco, than lay in that bathtub and read The Soulmate Experience.

I didn’t know when I began reading the second chapter, “Loving Your Body,” that I could not have created a better setting than lying naked in a pool of shallow, warm water, unable to avoid the entirety of my nakedness. Little did I know that during this reading session I would not only be physically naked, but that the exercises in this chapter would lovingly undress me into emotional nudity as well.

Loving my body is something I’ve slowly been making progress toward. I have spent a good many years being verbally and emotionally abusive to myself - mind, body, and spirit. I found the exercises in The Soulmate Experience that coach you into loving your body to be very powerful.

One of the exercises is to choose very specific body parts and study them: identify what role they play in your life, appreciate them, thank them, love them. I started, as the book suggests, with my hands. I sometimes look at my hands in disdain because the skin that covers them is not as thick and resilient as it once was, causing wrinkles and the ability to see more clearly the veins that carry blood through my body. As I lay in the tub, looking at the amazing hands that allow me to write this very post, the hands that held my only child, the fingers that ran through past lovers’ hair, I felt immense gratitude and love. It was as if I separated ME from my hands. I looked at them as an entirely separate entity. Like an old, beloved friend.

I remembered sitting on my Grannie’s lap as a child, holding her hand in mine and tracing her pronounced veins with my finger. One of those times, my mother saw this and told me that what I was doing was rude. My grandmother must have loved and accepted her hands, or maybe it was me she loved and accepted, because she told my mother that it was alright and allowed me to continue tracing.

I had no idea, at this young age, that protruding veins were not considered beautiful. I loved this part of my Grannie’s body. I loved the way her smooth, shiny, veiny hands looked and felt in mine. Who decided that these features were anything less than magnificent? And when did I start believing it? If I thought of my Grannie as beautiful then, can I think of myself as beautiful now?

This series of thoughts extended to the rest of my body. The book mentions a woman being grateful for her soft belly that had once protected her unborn child. I contemplated this as I lay naked, pushing into the softness of my own belly. I began to weep in gratitude for all of the parts of my body that worked perfectly together to create and deliver my own cherished child. This belly of mine represents the MIRACLE that occurred there. How could this piece of me, which played such an important part of something so miraculous, deserve anything less than my reverence?

If negative thoughts about my hands and my belly were lies, then what other lies had I believed? Is that small roll of flesh on my back, below my bra, really that bad? And what about the texture of my thighs? Is anything less than perfectly smooth flesh really disgusting? Would I have thought so as a child if no one had told me it was? Are my legs any less worthy of love, appreciation, and gratitude for carrying me around all of these years? Will my lover still enjoy having these legs wrapped around him during a passionate night of uninhibited sex? How could the distraction of not loving this part of my body inhibit that passion?

Do the imperfections of these body parts mean that I am not sexy? Oh no, folks. I AM sexy. The Soulmate Experience explains a mirror exercise. The goal in this exercise is to see your body as a whole. Although I have not had time to practice this regularly yet, I can tell you that it works. In my Bikram yoga practice, I come face-to-face with myself in the mirror, in form-fitting clothes, and watch myself twist into very interesting positions on a regular basis. When I first started this practice, I was obsessed with what I saw as the flaws of my individual body parts. Then, one day, I saw MYSELF. I was struck by the realization of my beautiful form. I stood in awe at the awareness of my body as a whole. Now, every time I pass a full-length mirror, I make it a point to stop and appreciate the shape of my sexy body.

The “Loving Your Body” chapter does not focus just on appearance; I just strongly relate to that. It also encourages you to care for yourself. Listen to your body. Attend to its physical needs. Develop a caring, loving relationship with yourself.

I knew before reading this chapter of The Soulmate Experience that it is important to care for, love, and accept my body, but following the exercises encouraged me to take the time necessary to deeply consider the concepts within. These changes in thought pattern are invaluable. My body is my home. It’s where I live. Shouldn’t we all be comfortable, happy, and at peace in our own homes?

Naked Soul

This is a guest post by Leslie Gibford Escoto, a frequent contributor to The Soulmate Experience on Facebook who inspires others with her transparency and vulnerability as she shares the insights and challenges she encounters along her own path of awakening.

I have been going through a transition, an awakening, and I have been sharing much of it on Facebook. It's been quite cathartic for me to expose myself in this way: it's not "safe," as it's there for close friends and simple acquaintances to see and then to judge. It's interesting how so many who profess to be "good" friends will turn away when they see someone whose soul is naked, exposed. And there are others who will look but only through their fingers covering their eyes (by the way, that's how I watch horror flicks) and then there are a few who will embrace your exposure, compliment your nakedness, and reach out to take your hand as you walk down that "beach" for all to see. 

Actually, I think there are more people who judge a naked spirit than a naked body. Our bodies are all flawed, especially when you get to be my age and so it's easy to look at the less than perfect body of someone else. We are familiar, comfortable with seeing the miraculous human form with all its dents, dings, wrinkles, etc. But when a less than perfect soul is revealed, people shy away because in our own minds we think we have it all figured out and to see the struggle, pain, and self-doubt of someone else—deep down inside it strikes a chord that we might have some of the same issues and that's a very hard thing to accept: that we are not totally okay, that we don't have everything under control, that we are vulnerable and we have pain.

But it's precisely when a naked soul is exposed that human beings need to band together to provide comfort, support, lessons, opinions, and love—because we all know that we have been, are, or will be there ourselves.

Keep It Vibrant! Make Date Night “Experience Night”

Recent research into long-term relationships confirms that novelty is essential for sustaining romance. Exciting new experiences cause the body to produce the same hormones that are activated when we fall in love. When we encounter the unknown, we enter a state of heightened awareness. We feel alive. And when we do this together, we feel connected through that sense of vitality.

One way to inject novelty into your relationship—and make date night compelling as well as fun—is to experiment with activities that are entirely new to you both. The range of experiences available today is virtually unlimited. With ten minutes of research online (try searching “exciting date ideas” or listings of local events), you’ll find plenty of ideas for things that will make you both a little nervous or apprehensive—which is exactly what you’re looking for.

You might take a class together, like contra dancing, painting, singing, partner yoga, or couples massage. Join a drum circle, go out for an evening of karaoke, volunteer at a hospital or homeless shelter, or shoot a game at the local pool hall. Attend an experimental music concert, a performance art show, or a lecture on a topic you know nothing about. Be spontaneous: Climb a tree, do a cartwheel, walk in the rain, make out in the moonlight. Read poetry to each other, go bowling, join a book group, or take a photography walk. Challenge your inner skeptic by visiting a palm reader, having your aura photographed, or getting a tarot reading. Camp out instead of reserving a room—especially if you’ve ever insisted, “I don’t camp!” Remember, the point is to go beyond your comfort zones.

Physical activities, particularly unfamiliar ones, are especially bonding, as they will call on you to support and rely on one another. Take a hip-hop or tai chi class. Try hula hooping, skinny dipping, line dancing, or indoor skydiving. Take lessons at a rock-climbing gym, join a boot-camp workout group, or train for a triathlon. Or get a little more intimate by seeking out a Japanese spa, a mud bath, or even a pole-dancing class. If these suggestions are too mundane for you, how about stripping down for a naked yoga class?

Read more inspiring ideas in Chapter 11: Exploring the Edges in the new book The Soulmate Experience: A Practical Guide to Creating Extraordinary Relationships.

Seek a Higher Possibility

When faced with challenging circumstances, strive to stay open to other ideas, options, and approaches. There is another possibility in any situation, even if it's not obvious at first.
 

Jeanne, a spunky seventy-something, lives in a townhouse. The woman next door has a grandson who likes to hang out on the patio while listening to rap music and smoking. The sounds and smoke drift right into Jeanne’s windows, which she prefers to keep open. Jeanne had asked the young man several times to turn the volume down, but soon the music would be going full blast again. She also bought him a smokeless ashtray, but he didn’t seem inclined to use it.
 

Jeanne was frustrated with the situation for months, until she finally got fed up with keeping her windows closed and feeling like a prisoner in her own home. So she sat down and asked herself, What’s possible here?
 

Jeanne realized that although she prefers not to smell cigarette smoke, she feels that, at her age, she really doesn’t need to worry about cancer. A higher possibility for her, she decided, was to let the smoke and noise be reminders to be grateful that her senses were still sharp. This shift in perspective brought her an immediate feeling of peace. One day she even found herself standing up and beginning to move to the music she found so offensive—getting some welcome exercise in the process.

This solution may not work for everyone, but it worked for Jeanne. If she had stayed stuck in her position, she says, she would have continued to resist the young man’s behavior and done nothing except add to her own frustration. She certainly wouldn’t be getting up to dance! What Jeanne had learned was this: Once we’ve taken all reasonable steps to alleviate a difficult situation, what’s left is to find a higher possibility.

Read more inspiring, true stories in Chapter 4: Raising Your Soulmate Potential of the new book The Soulmate Experience: A Practical Guide to Creating Extraordinary Relationships.